mah` bloggie

2005-04-26T20:01:00.000+08:00

I feel soooo awful right now. i think im beginning to regret everything i said! i should have just controlled my mouth lar. damn. now i feel like a sinner. its gonna be very soon till he finds out. i feel so terrible. though i dont really like him or anything but i feel extremely bad to betray his trust. I dont know what to do now. i wish i never said ANYTHING, though it was for a good cause. yah.. i feel soooooo gulty. yah.
whatever it is IM SOOO SORRY.

im such a bitch. shoot me please.

exams are around the corner as usual. went jurong island today. hahaha. it was kinda boring though.

i was on the verge of being OKAY with my life.. until im bombed with such a heavy responsibility. i feel so damn guilty lor!!! hahahaha.

2005-04-24T18:38:00.000+08:00

u are seriously beginning to irritate me. i didnt know you are such an idiot man. all this while i thought u were damn nice and er. NICE? well. i cant think of any other good words now. I just think you're disgusting. and you think you're so hot. well YOU're NOT, if you dont know that. You got me there man. you had me overwhelmed with regrets when actually it was all your planning. like wth? go get a life. go bother your so called friends. oh wait. should i even call them friends? when you make use of them for company and critisize them behind their backs. If you only open your mouth to me, it wouldnt be so bad. but why the heck must you tell the whole world? You enjoy being labelled as Mr HOT-GOSS? like whatever. i so dont wanna have anything associated with you.
and thanks for tarnishing my reputation by your awful words that lacks even the slightest truth. but i dont really care though. im sick and tired of all your childish antics. Its so irritating. go get a life or something. just dont bother me anymore. im so darn sick of all your whatevers.
After all these deception, you're not that good afterall. i was so. DARN. blind.

yah. anyway. theres like this lorraine-wannabe tagging. hahaha. uhhuhhhh.
prelim1 is around the corner yet ive not started anything yet. this IS BAD.. *laughs*

Ohhh. hons, shall we marche once more ?

2005-04-22T16:05:00.000+08:00

had x-country today. damn sian-ed. walked throughout. hahaha. but i perspired profusely i dont know why. maybe i shud haf ran coz it wuz my last year and al. its a sign! hahaha. aww whatever. its over. lol.

okay.. the new national library opens in late july along victoria street. my new-study-hangout. lol. yup yup ((: ohh. life's been pretty stressing lately. i dont know how can i find the time to blog. yeah.. chinese o's are coming and exams are drawing pretty near. i'll drown in failure if i dont get my ass kickin. yeah.. and the after-sch-selfstudy-and-den-to-centre-at-6 thing isnt helping much though. im pretty freaked out by things necessary to study and all. damn. there's just not enuff time. or its probably because i didnt make good use of my time.
i wish 19 july will come asap.. den i wont haf to go centre anymore.. i dont like to go at all. its eating up alot of my energy. and the travel time is crap. sighhhhh.. 19 july!!! dearies say it'll come really fast. i seriously hope so. all this crap has got my mood really topsy turvy. i can cry and laugh at the same time for no reason. pretty burnt out huh. hehehe.

so anyway. my life's crap lah.

2005-04-20T21:44:00.000+08:00

hi people -grins-
okay.. for those avid readers which i doubt there is any because my blog is damn ULU u see. but i'll be touched though. yup. okay. LOL.
FINE. for those avid readers of my blog, i once said i saw this hottie during the beyond social service launch or something while at centre a mth ago or something. named Shan Wee? then, i thought he was a perfect 10 DJ bcoz he wuz hanging out with the perfect 10 crew when they came to see the launching or something. he's gonna be on EYE FOR A GUY 2 tonight at 10.20.. supposedly 10.. but thanks to the parliament crap.. yup. hehe. okay. so watch out for him lahz. hahaha. but read 8 days and it seems he's some kinda unfriendly or something. but whatever. haha. he's a perfect-10-dj-in-waiting and a brit national. yup yup.

someone hacked my dearie lorraine's friendster, blog and account. THATS SO CRAPPY. lol. yah.. nothing much to say lahz. just that prelims1 is coming and... uhhuh.

oh! and ive changed my email from foreva_blues@hotmail which was ages ago to.. strawberrylipgloss03@hotmail.com. yup! so take note. till then, i love u guys ((: especially my wonderful dearies who's there always. I love u ((:

2005-04-17T15:55:00.000+08:00

I love my prospective husband! * weeez *
my dad's crazy over " Where is the love " HELLO?? he keeps " Yo! Yo! "-ing. hahaha. sooo sick.

hahaha.
im damn movitated to study now. i dont know why.

can u all like stop judging me according to my past. like. anyway, i know my importance to you now. how fantastic. but yeah. i dont care. just stop judging me! i dont like it at all. You just dont know me. hahaha.
oh. and im sick of making sacrifices. NOPE. NO WAY. NONE. im not gonna sacrifice for a single soul anymore. LOL. well. except for my dearies perhaps. otherwise. go away!!! hahaha.

loves. loves.

2005-04-16T22:00:00.000+08:00

Time NOW : 10.00PM, saturday.

To my dearest lorraine,
don't be sad love. no matter what, i'll be here for you like nobody's business. okay? I noe we didnt really have a fantastic past.. like . we were practically bitching abt each other and all. but like you said. everything's over. Never. EVER. brood about the past, because you know that ur future will be terrific. Why let a minor setback pull you down? but i definately promise you that i'll stay by you always. from now till forever okay? I know things aint all that fantastic now.. especially after everything... but this is life dear. Please be STRONG. ( like you black band ! )
I noe u are not THAT weak . Whatever it is right. i'll be here if u need a hug or some encouraging words okay. loves and more -grins-

Dear God,
I am amazed at your glory every second im typing this. Thank you for your blessings. I've seeked u, asking you to help me untie the knot that has been tangled in my heart. Thank you for untying it for me. Thanks for already showing me the light and assuring me that ive not made the wrong choice. i look forward it getting to know you more, once again.

2005-04-15T19:57:00.000+08:00

shut up.

who the hell do u think you are?
who the hell do u think u are to me?
i cant believe it.
the DECEPTION is just too hard to swallow.
dont think u are ALL THAT.
face up to reality.

im HUMAN, i deserve to be treated with equal respect. especially when i treat u like some kinda gem. i do treasure.
u can just shut your gap if u say u practice mutual respect or even just being truthful.
i think you are just one big fat liar who puts on a FALSE face everytime.
like why the hell must u be so SUPERFICIAL?

Why cant u just face reality? Why must u always think you are the best, which u are so not? Why did u do such things ? Why are u so idiotic?

I dont deny that i used to think you're some kinda saint.

i take all of them back now.

im never. EVER. EVER gonna trust u EVER again.

just KISS MY SHOE and shut up.

IM SICK OF U ACTING ALL DEMURE AND INNOCENT.
your claws are showing, bitch.

okay. what a fink.

2005-04-11T20:25:00.000+08:00

FNN STINKS SOOOO BAD!!!
omg.. i practically ruined my o level prac. OMG. why is it when i try at home, everything's perfect. when its EXAM TIME.. i fumble. flop. and do everything badly. damn. i just dont work with stress....

OKAY. had first self-studying session today at library.. Pictures.

aaron lazing around.. lol. apparently, he didnt know i shot him. lol.

er. the BEAST and i. which was not taken today. like ages ago, when we were still talking.

rainey and i.. after prac in the toilet.. my hair's like damn messy.

lorraine took a picture of me er.. i cant remember what i was doing. lol. but i didnt know.. till i browsed my phone. lol.

ahh. lorraine. pig.

LORRAINE. mwakz.

Shawal and i.

oh and i saw my pri sch friend in her cedar uni while walking to heartland.. cool. :)

2005-04-09T20:27:00.000+08:00

ahhh crap. i typed this very long entry on the very very bad day yesterday and blogger just shuts me off like that. okay fine..
hmm.. well. it was a really bad day i guess. probably it all started out with me. kenneth mentioned some touchy stuffs and i cried like nobody's business.. den. cx came and ask me wat happened and i just said kenneth. he is like so dumb and idiotic. he didnt even ask me anything he just went ahead to poke kenneth with my compass till he bled. omg. and as if he didnt know kenneth will never make me cry like that. he just wanna have the "funnest day of his life " poking people using me as an excuse. like wtf. den cx and miss lee quarrelled .. miss lee cried. everyone was blaming him.. cx fought with my dear lorraine.. lorraine cried.. so all in all, yesterday was a pretty bad day. 3 people cried already. oh well. cx is a bastard anyway. im so sick of people telling me to consider his background before being against him or whatever shit. i mean if he is actually sensible enough, he would know that he should change his bloody character. he is like.. the WORST human being ive met so far. im not that perfect but i gurantee he's not any better. He's almost a beast. he has no feelings for anybody but himself. self centred and arrogant. demanding and ungentleman, violent and abusive. afraid to lose.
I got nothing better to say already.

met jerome for bball today. hahaha. cool. then he came over to my place. mom fetched him back. den went church after that.. mm hmm. cool. lol.

loves.
fiona.

2005-04-05T20:19:00.000+08:00

life's been pretty bland lately. Its sliding down hill. faster and faster each and everyday.
the injustice life brings is akin to stabbing yourself in the heart. Everybody just exonerates themselves.
maybe its just karma. aww i dont know. i just wish everything will end right now.
If someone would go into an in-depth comparison, i'll be dead last. Im so unhappy with myself. disappointed in myself.
i'm tainted.

kayz.. lihan didnt go to sch today. okay.. thats the first time. hehe:) -you were missed -

raine and i had the ball-liest time today. damn. nonsense after nonsense..lol. -loves- the nutrient analysis course was dumb. i didnt learn a single shit. i was busy taking pictures and talking. lol. tried skipping but saw the lecturer coming down also as we decided to take a different route and we clashed with him. aiya so sway. lol. den we u turned and went back up. sigh. yup.

and i was drenched in the rain, thanks to my sister.
and i almost slept during tuition.

talk about a boring life. you dont really have to read this, really.
especially if you're gonna judge me according to what you know from the past.

2005-04-03T13:29:00.000+08:00

winnie left for home this morning.. :( :( im like damn sad. weve been livin together fer like 10 years.. sighz :( im like damn. damn. sad...:'(
dad says he'll buy an air ticket for her to return to singapore soon.. yeah...

oh.. and something to be happy about..
my tutor gave me GUCCIRUSH2 .. cool. it smells damn heavenly.. yeah. nice.

2005-03-31T16:22:00.000+08:00

hi world.
nothing's up lately.. only that i have to decide whether to usher or help mrs pang in her cooking... damn. she keeps insisting we quit ushering to help her. whatever. i so dont want to. haha.
ohh! and i wore specs to sch today. i looked damn nerdy. hahaha. i think im never gonna wear it to sch ever again, unless i have some.. PROBLEMS like i had today.
i hate today. i feel so LOUSY. it must be the .

okay. kenneth didnt come to sch today to go DATING. omg.

lol. im extremely dreading this few months. i think this year is the worst year in my entire life. i wish 2006 will just come tomorrow. im sick of like almost every commitment to make. its sick, tiring, and eating up my sleep. I hate it.

2005-03-29T20:08:00.000+08:00

just as i knew that maybe i would have to give it a try. Then, i'll know how wonderful things can get. just as i thought things were maybe advancing to .. perhaps a different level? I get crushed by silence, the most lethal. Maybe it's a sign anyway. It probably wasnt meant to be. Maybe the times considering just wasnt worth it. It was all taking up my time. Is it the way expressed? or simply doubt?

whatever. i dont care anymore. Imagine how fast everything is. *laughs*

okay. damn. fnn is a real bother. haha. KENNETH!!! KWOK. * waves* so are u happy now? I know u were anticipating! * grins*

2005-03-28T19:11:00.000+08:00

dere's simply too many things to do already. damn. just too little time. my priorites are all haywired. so ive decided to rebel against them for awhile and blog. uhhuh. okay.
on saturday. i stayed home the whole day! haha. yeah. so darn life-less.
on sunday.. i went to aunty lily's baptism lunch at SICC? some rich people's country club lah. we didnt even know how to get there and we never went there before.. cool, coz she's 60 and she isnt embarassed about it at all but me...im barely 16 and i get paranoid thinking of it. lol. but then. i got stuck at the*GASP* junior's table. omg. i think she doesnt know im 16. i felt so PRESCHOOL okay. yup. and like. almost all the people there are catholics, including my sister. hahaha. but it doesnt matter anyway. some of the small kids were cute. hehe. luckily i had my sister and jerome around or i'll probably die. haha. and jerome is my new bball coach. lol! thats nice. okay.. den headed down to carrefour suntec with daddy. cabbed home and pigged around like nobody's business. yeah.. damn. i'll grow fat liddat lah. hahaha.
on and today had this speech day rehearsal thingy. raine and myself are ushering. hahaha. fine.. i think we told each other last year that we wouldnt do it this year. but uhhuh. *rolls eyes* but its okay. just for the CIP hours. lol. which is extremely essential to me. yup.
oh. and nothing much happened today except mrs pang critisized our ( han and myself ) potato soup. it wuz like our first time. she said it wuz ugly. so fine. it wasnt a confirm dish anyway. she wouldnt allow me to bake my rice saying it was already perfect ( YAY ) lol. yah whatever. and she say we dont do quality work during this practice. damn. thats because she doesnt give us quality ingredients. her ingredients are like the keep-for-2-days-and-stink kind. the potatoes were kept in the fridge and had moulds over it. YUCK. i ate it and felt a twirling sensation in my stomach. oh my gawd.
ohh and we're helping my babe raine shed some pounds to make her look oh-so-splendid. YAY. im so excited. lol.

loves,
me ((:

2005-03-26T14:06:00.000+08:00

i wuz just reading kairuo's blog. i didnt know she had such a touchy side to her.. lol. she always portraying the tough girl thing so yup. thats nice. and the pictures of she and yuriko were nice. hehe.

went town yesterday for awhile.. couldnt watch hitch. oh man. den raine and i just roamed ard town and went into some boutiques. saw this very very lovely christian dior wallet which is.... $650. yeahh. den went to guess and saw this really nice bracelet but the price wasnt that nice though. $40. but nvm. hahaha. the stuffs there were nice. and the zara in taka is so limited and crowded. i guess liat towers seems more posh inside. lol. ohh and we ate yuki and yaki. it was nice though didnt get to eat till the max coz had to be home by 8. oh wellz.

pictures.

loves,
me.

2005-03-25T14:48:00.000+08:00

i think i'll die of fatigue someday. omygod. im so thankful ive found a solution to curb my frustrations. lol.

okay. dere's nothin much to blog. cept my results were kinda mediocre. had no idea how i excelled in chem lah. i guess its coz all the tests were open book tests so pulled up my ca marks or something. lol. my combined sci werent ALL THAT but i guess it was rather okay coz of some tyco-ness ard. yah. fine. and i failed my eng. okay. i deserve to be shot for that since i always refuse to do compre durin tuition. fine. oh! and i passed my CHINESE! 51. lol. thats a good thing.

im supposed to wait for raine to drop me a msg to give a cue. omygawd. so long. lol. i think i'll die waiting. and we're probably catching hitch today. yay?hopefully tickets are aplenty since the show opened like a million years ago.

ohhhh and im so happy 4b is like. much better already.

ohhhhh! and we had a jap girl in our class today coz kairuo wuz her buddy. she's so. so. so. PRETTY omg. and like damn cute. whenever she's suppose to post for a picture she gives this sudden clueless look with a PEACE sign. lol. adorable ((:

and i almost died at yesterday's career fair. REALLY. i deserve to be saved.
and wanted to catch lemony snickets a series of unfortunate events but . DONT HAF. damn.

loves.
me ((:

2005-03-19T15:44:00.000+08:00

hi. HI! Ive not blogged for ages. Okay.
Wednesday and Thursday, off days. need not drop by centre.
Wednesday

Woke up at 10 den met han ard 11. den cabbed down to cine. went to sing K till 2. den later. went shopping. yay. lol. okay fine. not really REALLY shopping. just buying stuffs. lol.
1) Purple Zara Long Sleeve
2) Mango Bag
3) The Da Vinci Code ((: yay.
yay. hahaha.

Thursday

Had to go sch early in the morning for fnn. the baked rice was NICE i guess. lol. at least it was SUCCESSFUL. unlike all the craps that ive made. LOL. reminds me of last year's prac. the spaghetti chao tah. hahaha. so dumb. den it was practically a FLOP. Hopefully this year's wont turn out a disaster. haha. okay.
den went coffee bean to satisfy my craving. Iced Cappucino with loads of craps ((:
went to meet marcus to watch son of the mask.
LAME SHOW. the sequel to THE MASK. which i think, is 1 million times better. lol.

Friday

Went centre in the morning and left ard 1 coz had to meet miss lee and most 3bs. damn. couldnt watch unfortunate events. ended up with boogeyman, half of the time, my eyes were shut. dumb show, lame plot. okay. den went to funan to eat pasta mania with raine and han. den went down town to take some prints, which ive not taken for AGES. lol. Raine has a very nice dorothy perkins BAG. hahahaha. OKay. and we wore GREEN that day, yesterday. lol.

okayz. enjoy. mwahx*

2005-03-15T20:44:00.000+08:00

Im hating, every single freaking minute of it. every single second. every single milli-second, if u can count it.

I cant be myself.
I am not myself.
I will never be myself.
Everything's just different.
Is it too bad for me?
or simply too good to be true?

kinda had enuff of all the craps that's been circulating. its like. dumb meets dumb-er. dumb-er meets dumb-er-rer. ahh shit its just too complexed.

So whatever it is, its totally squeezing my last straw away.

Its a wait too long to endure.
I dont wanna be part of this shit anymore.

Listening to : Eminem - Mosh.
Mood : murderous.

2005-03-13T16:46:00.000+08:00

i especially want to upload pictures. its like so deadly to just blog liddat since i haf simply nothing exciting to blog abt. uhhuh.

Im extremely disappointed in my life. im so stagnant here, there's just no routes for me to choose or go.
i wish dere's a way to solve all this miseries before i . . .
i kinda feel i deserve better than all the craps that's been given to me.
Sometimes i wish all this was just a dream. and i wake up starting everything afresh again. to turn back the clock and everything...

however, there are people much more worse than me.
for instance,
yesterday we met up with some ex offenders. den we were broken down into grps than this malay guy told us abt his LIFE. he was actually a drug offender and started at the age of 15. he was addicted for 15 years till he was 30 he got into some.. er. rehab centre? can see he truly regrets.. he kept saying things like.. think before u do things.. dont just go with the flow.. and wanting to turn back the clock.
comparing my situation if his, i kinda feel im ranting too much. but seriously. Everything ard me, wont get any better if i dont do something. but what can i do?

2005-03-12T13:01:00.000+08:00

omg. im dreading it. Alot.
sighz. gotta go fort canning park to meet ex convicts. with the swp grp, of course.
later, at 2.

seriously, im dreading it so much.

i haf too many commitments to make that deres just no time for this swp thing. but mr din keeps insisting i HAVE to like at least 4 times a week, when the most i can make it is 2 and a half days. so he proposed that i come back during the weekends. I mean, i haf nothing against going back during the weekends as i cant go out after 3 which is totally pointless staying at home and allowing temptations such as my computer, tv to err. hinder my studies? lol. Yah. so i guess i'll tell him later that i'll be going back for the weekends, this way, i can haf more time for school, sleep, schwork, and home.

well.. its going to be abt 2 months since swp has started.. and i actually have to complete 6 mths? seriously haf no time for it. like why the hell didnt dey find me during the holidays? its so dumb lor. and now when i haf lots and lots of stuff to do, den it comes and threaten me with crap. oh well. sigh.

Yes, and yesterday was FLAG DAY! we had to sell this novelty pens for the nkf children's fund for like $2. nobody wanted to buy from me BECAUSE i HAD THIS RED ANGRY PIMPLE AT THE SIDE OF MY NOSE. im getting hideous-er and hideous-er each and everyday. lol. but fine. i managed to sell 8 pens which is.. not that bad u see. hahaha. as SOME PEOPLE didnt even sell at all. Hahahaha. dey practically chuck the pens aside and go do their own stuffs. den come back at 6 or 7 and return the pens. lol.

Im feeling extremely fat now. Yawns*

2005-03-10T19:44:00.000+08:00

my very very terrible math results. 21 half over 50.
and the worst thing is. i knew how to do it. and i lost like 20 marks to carelessness. and very extreme CARELESSNESS. i could haf gotten 40 marks! thats like.. so dumb. everytime i see my paper i can actually feel the overwhelming sensation in my eyes and my heart will just SINK. yah maybe just a common test or something. but it meant quite alot to me because i was really confident in passing well as i knew how to do like. ALL the questions. and its so dumb. seriously. to actually lose 20 freaking marks to stupid carelessness. to the extreme.
but. its not really the marks that im so. so. so. disappointed in. its actually my attitude. ive never. not even ONCE. checked my math paper before. okay. maybe ive never been sooo unhappy over such trivial matters before. but i dont noe. maybe its the thought of failing my 10yearsofstudyingcrap part.

and had combined sci paper today. its totally crap. i just realized we've been so spoon fed in sec3 and like.. we had so many tips and hints abt our papers. Now, we didnt haf a single piece of so called hint and ... it was seriously crap. so difficult. and its not because it was completely uncomprehendable. but. it was the laziness. haiyahhzzzzz.

its like so dumb fretting over these kinda stuffs. im just kinda fearful of regrets.

yah so anyway. deres nothin much to blog, as usual.
im not gonna haf a fantastic time this year.
so dont bother reading. hahaz.

2005-03-06T15:55:00.000+08:00

i think i must be awfully bored to blog everyday. lol.
actually, i have loads of things to do but. its really... crap. and i just realized my fnn coursework is due mid apr? but i doubt we have to pass up then. she'll probably drag it on and on like nobody's business, considering the fact that NONE of us have started research at all? hahaha. all still stucked at T.A.
and i have a chinese test on friday that i really wanna pass. but just opening the book alone and reading the first word causes me sian-ness. im like. motivation-less right now. it so dumb.
but i'll do it anway.

i seriously cannot wait for this year to pass. asap.
then it'll be byebye to swp. yyss. olevels.
and then, another hurdle awaits me.
like why is this whole world so corrupted?
why cant everything be like when were 5.

2005-03-05T11:45:00.000+08:00

i figured i need alot more to pull thru this 6 months. okay. maybe 4 and a half months and counting.
1) Im sick and tired of the complains we are getting and the whole grp has to suffer for NOTHING due to some ******** who simply dont understand ENGLISH.
2) Where da fuck are your sensibility PEOPLE? wake up!
3) I dont like to communicate. I DONT EVEN BOTHER. because we are on different levels. But if i dont, it means its only Me,myself and i. not a whole group. But fcukin hell. its not so easy.
4) The hours spent there, will terrify YOU. i swear.
5) JUST SHUT UP WHEN U ARE SUPPOSE TO, IDIOTS. DONT GET EVERYBODY PISSED OFF WITH UR I-DONT-GIVE-A-FUCK attitude. YOUR'RE SIMPLY TRYING TOO HARD.
6) Whats all the shit about being rebellious and dominant? LIKE DO U EVEN KNOW WHY DA FUCK ARE U HERE FOR?? not for a holiday you dimwits.
7) Stop pissing the youth workers/counsellors OFF if u wanna haf a bloody unforgettable time here, faggots.
8) Learn to stop "praising" your "GANG" infront of your counsellor.
9) LEARN FROM THE BETTER ONES. well. dere are a quite a number of people who really behaves. well. in the centre. so thank GOD. THANK GOD.
10) fcuk you, understand? i hope u die somewhere else instead of driving all of us insanity. and depriving all of us from our sleep.
11) cmon. stop being a jerk LAH>
12) PLEASE LAH
13) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LAH.
14) BEGGING YOU LAH.

LIKE. its so. ARGH. infuriating.

2005-03-02T22:40:00.000+08:00

yawns*

today's crap. i swear. lol. ran like 2 rounds and its some endurance run thing. so we cant WALK. so i walked awhile and den. those who walk must divide themselves into 2 groups lah. and den compete by running up and down the 10 storey building.. so. i wuz first lah coz im damn slow. lol. den. i wuz running up and.. it wuz okay. but when i was coming down. i was so dizzy and everything. i think i would have fainted. luckily there was the railings to support me. otherwise i dunnoe wat will be of me now. den immediately i came down tears just flow out. hahaha. i oso dunnoe why. oooo. and i was oso afraid to "hai" my group to wash toilet.. yah. but den we won anyway. lol. but no one had to wash toilets. good.

Listening to : Lay Low by Snoop Dogg. ( wahlau super vulgar siahz. )
mood : sleepy. zz.

2005-03-01T21:01:00.000+08:00

for the first time EVER in my life.
im actually feeling a very strong vibe to study. that motivation is so overwhelming im actually skipping the ch8 9pm show now. LOL. and i realize i have like. 15 pages more of geog and like the whole sec3 chinese vocab handbook to complete, my this week.
and then its gone now. but it'll be back. hahaha.
i have 3 papercuts today. damn it. Ouch*.
okay. today we did somethin in class and pple had to write my "ASSETS" down. OKAY. not physical assets. haha. den. PEOPLE SAY I HAVE A VERY WEIRD PERSONALITY. thats so weird right? coz im perfectly normal. I THINK? okay. excluding the extreme-moodswings-gone-with-the-wind part. oh well ((: hopefully its a unique asset/flaw.. whatever u wanna call it. hehe.
ohh. er.
i heard something i didnt really wanna know yesterday. but i guess it plonked me back to reality. i was blinded by everything. so i think now im elated that my senses are all coming back. heh.
i really wanna post pictures. but sadly. hehehe. okay. i'll just wait till kelly prints them out for me. i wan a 7610 too. *pouts* hehehe.
i think im addicted to Destiny's Child 's "classics."
OKAY.
I found this like huge blotch on my forehead.. which is actually a scar. i didnt even NOE. until i was combing my hair. im disfigured already. so devastating. its gonna be damn embarassing to walk ard sch with this HUGE redder-den-blood-red thing on my forehead.
hmm. i wonder when did i get this. hideous thing.

adding on to my very miserable misery. ( what atrocious english. haha)
i found out i put on weight. which is like...miserable? haha.

Can somebody free me. from my very wretched state.

OH. and im happy for MY BUDDY ;) hehe.

2005-02-28T19:48:00.000+08:00

today is.
a funny day.
i laughed and laughed like nobody's business since after flag raising. hahahahaha. reason being.
the funny scene infront of me. LOL. cant stop luffin sia. okay. er. some guy named dexter from 3b LOL he came den mrs kok instructed him to go to the General office. LOL. LOL. LOL. okay. den den while everbody was . LOL LOL! LOL LOL LOL! singing the national anthem, he came strolling back LOL LOL LOL. with this very silly smile on his face. LOL LOL. hahahahha. LOL. okay. den mr tan wuz dere and he got so frustrated at him not respecting the country that he pulled him LOL and den.. fcuk. shall not talk abt it anymore. LOL. its damn funny can. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. LOL. LOL. han and i laughed the whole day. den we saw him after sch and laughed the whole day. till now. hahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha. LOL LOL. hahahahahahahahahaz.

okay. today is the release of the o level results. seeing how my friends fared and the amount of regrets present.. i guess it has motivated me somehow. to like study like nobody's business. yah. looking back at my past, i think ive regretted like one hundred and one things already. hopefully this time around the result will be fruitful...
i feel sad for my friends who didnt get deir ideal results. its okay alryte:) things happen for a reason. it wont matter if u repeat a year or something :) smile.

okay. i guess i better log off before i die laughing thinking abt that incident i witnessed. HAHAHA.

2005-02-26T19:03:00.000+08:00

hie.
had to go down centre dis weekend coz of . okay. watever it is, it has nothin to do with me. but since we are in as a group. we get to suffer morning days.. ON WEEKENDS.. argh. crap man. i cant stand it. i never get enuff slp at all. hmmph.

Happy Birthday DANIEL . hahaha. i didnt get to stay for the cake though. ( or was there really one? ) lol. *grins*

anyway. ive gotten over him. i think.

2005-02-23T22:18:00.000+08:00

yawnz.*
watched Hide and Seek yesterday with han at tpy. its nice. really. hahaha. okay. its nice because it doesnt have stupid characters like ju-on or crappy korean/japanese/thai horror movies. haha. okay. yup. and headed to centre again today.. didnt play floorball coz i was late? so i ended up studyin the whole day. hehehe.

the view from my room.

me tryin to act sad studyin ss at centre today hehe

crap.

my com screen! with my hunky bf. hahahaha.

2005-02-21T22:44:00.000+08:00

today was the launchin of BAPES.. fyi, if u dont noe wat it is.. its this beyond charity services for the youths and pregant kids etc. and violated kids.. poor thing. den my centre, Beyond Social services was like.. the venue. so we.. the beyond cafe humans were serving lah. so we had to cater our services to the vips and everything. the some of the people from perfect10 were there.. daniel ong grace chua.. etc. lol. and this hottie.. TALL AND HOT.. Shan wee or something. hahahaha. altho ive not heard him on air..
okay. and we chatted with EUNICE OLSEN! she's sooooo pretty in real life okay. hahahaha. and extremely friendly. hahaha. yup. shes very nice ((: oh oh. and i played skate scooter. i was relieving the past..
den had swimming today.. but a few pple went only.. lucky. hahahaha. yvonne and i were laughin all the way in the pool. hahahaha. for like.. no vaild reason.. lolz!
lol. yup yup.
Love love ((:
Fiona.

2005-02-19T21:18:00.000+08:00

Went to watch "White Noise" sneak preview at tpy just now with han. lol. it wuz cool. scary, but nice. altho im not really into horror movies.. i think they totally suck. but this.. is okay. its nice! hehehe. den we.. plus this other 2 girls whom we do not noe.. planned to scream together because we sat nxt to each other.. lol. so fine. den we screamed like nobody's business. hahaha.
yah. den after that.. ard 7.30, mommy came to fetch us home. lol.

I wanna watch HITCH, MISS CONGENIALITY2, SPANK-GLISH and all the funnnnyyyy movies ((: lol.

i think i really need lots of new clothes. ive been wearing the same stuffs over and over again.

2005-02-17T19:33:00.000+08:00

hello world.
well. guess i wuz a lil too much on my last entry. haha.
hmm. dere's chinese and math test tomorrow. gawd. shoot me. its so crappy! i just dont get it. haha. i have nothin much to blog about.
I simply love thursdays.

2005-02-15T20:34:00.000+08:00

sometimes, i pity myself for having such a terrible time, everyday.
i stare at my pathetic face in the mirror sometimes and i really wish someone can explain my mundane existence. i feel that ive trusted the wrong person. thanks to my indecisive-ness. at times i feel that. i can confide in you like.. 24/7 and everything.. and be very sure of the stand that you are taking, considering the words you've said. altho i cant really differentiate between your fit-talking.. or simply the truth. Rewinding back into the past, i guess ive messed up my life. even now, when im trying to make amendments for all the craps.. nothin seems to be working. However, your actions, have proved to me that you dont mean what you say. I absolutely cannot stand the fact that u shuttle yourself between two people and God-Knows-What resent you've caused between them. Judging from the THINGS YOU SAY.. and the THINGS YOU DO.. i think i'll go along with your your CONTRADICTING actions. because im so f**king pissed off by whatever you're trying to do, whether it is to just gain company or getting rid of the crazy antics and self-proclaimed righteous words you say on your close friends. i think its unfortunate of me to actually see your true self.
Therefore, from today onward, im not gonna bother about what you're gonna say anymore. It would not inflict my ANYTHING because, i find it hard for myself to believe what you have to say for yourself or other people. I blame myself for actually going along with your decision and even stand by your side in times when you feel alone or isolated.. or whatever shit. im SICK of being your substitute understand? im SICK of the thoughts that go thru my mind.. about me doubting or trusting you..
Im sorry. Im not your door mat. I deserve better things than you. And i noe it. because, i do not only have you.. YOU KNOW. and in the long run, you'll find out that so far, im the only one who have been standing BESIDE you all these while.
f**K.

2005-02-14T21:27:00.000+08:00

okay. Happy Valentine's Day... ((:
in sch today, i received snickers from nicole ( thanks love :D ) .. a bunch of sweets from so called "sweety-pie" bimbotic kel.. hehehe. and she demanded a rose. so i gave her a HUG! hehehe. and den unintentional milo chocz from cx.. hahahaha. den justin and seif were damn crap sia. dey cut sausages into mini hearts den put them in papers with words like " giving u a piece of my heart " hahaha. and dey put it in all the girls' bags during recess. haha. den we all came back earlier and we all realized! so we stuffed it back into their bags. hahaha. damn cute. den when dey realized dey were like AHHHHHHHHHH! hee heez. den when i went home and checked my mailbox, i received a vday card from marcus! hehehe. nice nice.
okay. den my mood CHANGED.
EUPHORIA left me.. INSTANTLY.
my headache was acting up.
he was constantly on my mind..
sigh..... but anyway.
i dont deserve it.. yeah. so..
okay. den i made my way to beyond.. liangwei and i went with mr rashid to collect something at ayer rajah there.. and den to evergreen sec to give some tins.. rashid is sick! he's 30 and he keeps bio-ing the malay netball girls.. haha. and liangwei kept littering out of the van on the expressway.. heehee.
i didnt go swimming today.. stayed and pack the beyond cafe stuffs with some of the girls..
at the end of the day, chatted with joshua for 1/2 hr coz he wanted to ask me some stuffs...

yup. tts abt it.

sigh. i miss you.

2005-02-13T20:47:00.000+08:00

yawns. deres so much to do.. FNN's o level question came out alreadie.. and im suppose to hand in my task analysis tmr.. but yet ive not started on it. luckily i have my draft.. hahaha.
okay. er. went parkway for awhile with my family haha. den i went mango and bought two basic tees. initally i thought it looked ugly lah. but den when i saw today .. i was tempted to buy. so i did lah. hahaha. uhhuh.

mango basics..

sch's vanity pictures... hahaha

tmr's valentine's day and my sister's best friend is born on that day 12 yrs ago. how sweet right. hahaha.

2005-02-12T19:08:00.000+08:00

wanted to upload some vanity pictures from my hp initially.. but im really lazy lazy lazy.

dere's nothing much to blog right?

er okay. i just realized that all my personal diary entries have something to do with HIM. haha. so when i read thru all of em. i cant help laughing at myself.
oh. oh! and im so pissed off. i just dont get it. how come some guys can be ULTRA SENSITIVE for the who-knows-what reason. i mean like.. some things are just not what it seems you know. u dun have to perceive it your way. U make me sound like im some kinda FLIRT? or some kinda USING-people. which im so not. i dun get it, like seriously. ive always regarded u as my really good friend. but it doesnt mean that once i stop talking to you den you get all those thoughts planted in ur head that im treating u as a spare or sub. or something.

loves, fiona.

2005-02-09T21:31:00.000+08:00

I
Dont
Deserve
it.

AT ALL..

it would be much better off as an illusion. im not worth it.

Happy Lunar New Year world.. :)

2005-02-07T22:42:00.000+08:00

elllooox ((:
my dAdddyyyy's soooooooooooo nice.
he just called and tell me to come down to his office tmr after sch.
reason?
haha. on sunday i wanted to get that skirt! but i couldnt. so i was kinda.. unhappy. haha. den i came home and i kept ranting over it over and over again.. hahaha.
den he told me to go town tmr den he'll bring me over to buy! yay. so elated. lol.

hahaha. i made matthew pay extra $1.20 for his $1.20 ice cream. hmmph. and he keeps nagging abt it.

yawns*

2005-02-06T20:38:00.000+08:00

ellox ((:

went town today with GK. like FINALLY! ive not been to town for like one thousand years.. hahaha.
so den i wanted to buy the skirt ive been wanting for like forever. den.. OUTTA STOCK! so i tried a few other alternatives.. OUTTA STOCK! so pekchek. but i bought a ripcurl wallet! yay. i bought the brown and blue one.. den GK has the pink one.. which is oso very nice.. i think both are equally nice lah. den she wuz lyk damn disappointed coz yesterday she was hunting for the brown one but couldnt find so she ended up buying the pink one. but she didnt go pacific plaza mah. so i bought mine dere. yay. so im quite satisfied.. that i actually bought something.. and a freshbox tee too. hahahaha. but i still want my skirt lah :( hmmphhhh. damn sway.
hahaz. yup.
ive got some VANITY pictures to post!!!

heeheee.

2005-02-05T15:46:00.000+08:00

ello world ((:

yesterday was like.. SIAN! hahaha. wuz supposed to meet rayner at town after counselling coz i thought counselling would end at 5.30 like last week. wahlau. 8pm den LEAVE OKAY!
Rayner dua-ed me at the correct time.. lol. yup yup.
den we had this sex education talk lah. den before tt we had to play this crappy game lah. which i so didnt know it was related to AIDS. until the whole thing ended or something. i even bought a "brown word" which actually means aids. I BOUGHT AIDS??? hahahaha. i didnt noe lah. till the game ended.
den after counselling went back kovan with daniel and eric. den he wanted to eat dunnoe what beef noodles but it was closed. unfortunately. hahaha. so ended up at macdonald's. sigh. den saw many yuying pple. so late alreadie still havent go home. hehehe. it wuz like 9pm.

wahlau and suhaila has the appleipod picture thing. DAMN COOL. hehehe.

im so pissed off with this swp guy lah. some AHDAI retarded face. wahlau. he damn brainless lor. dunnoe how to shut up one. i feel like im in a kindergarden. SIGH.

listening to : P.I.M.P. 50cent.
mood : :(

2005-02-03T20:23:00.000+08:00

I just want to GET AWAY.

words can kill me. i want to disappear before it attacks.

i wish 2005 will end tomorrow. i seriously do.

nothin interesting happened today. its the usual scene in class. the constant daidee-ing during changingperiods or breaks or something. the constant nonsense coming from an idiot nxt to me with his infamous self-cheorographed "LOSER" hahaha. damn hilarious. and a bimbo who sits next to me, constantly sharing stupid stuffs and nonsense together. and the endless drawing-on-my-skin stuffs. and another idiot who sits beside,beside me. he can NEVER keep his hands to himself. hahaha. and his unsightly " butt-grabbing " tactic. and of coz, not forgetting the rest of the world existing. hahaha. loves loves.

on second thought. i dun reallie wish 2005 will end tomorrow. if not, where the hell can i get all the funny-ness idiots around me ( HAHA ) provide?

but den. i really cant live thru everyday having to be confined like an idiot. like seriously. who can.

2005-02-02T22:14:00.000+08:00

ello world.

im like super super tired. my limbs are aching and my eyelids are constantly being forced to open.
we ran like.. 2 rounds around the whole circuit.. estate? something liddat. damnn tiring. and den still must skip and skip like a faggot. i feel exhausted..
den i still had to walk home.. ALONE.. in the dark.. for 10 minutes. damn. so jialats. my house there whole stretch of road is EMPTY. luckily the temple opp. my house got old folks taichi-ing. that allowed me to catch my breath from running uphill since i was like so damn freaking scared.. with all the indian blangadesh watever men hanging around. damn stupid. hahaha.

yay. and i dun haf to go counselling tomorrow. yay. i can skip soccer. yay. yay. yay. hahaha.
Daniel says im lucky for skipping soccer which wuz actually punishment on tues. yay. haha. i must find a way to skip counselling sessions on tues and thurs.

i dun wan to hurt u but .. u're exaggerating.. rite?

2005-01-31T20:50:00.000+08:00

hello world.

damn. damn. today like quite.. sigh.
firstly. i woke up late and everythin. so i left my house at 7.10am which is a totally rushing time.. since i have to get to sch by 7.25.. so watever lah.
den. while i was walking down from my house.. this long stretch of road where there was no visible human beings. den. i saw this monk walking upwards. so ive longed heard my mommy saying seeing a monk makes ur day damn sway. so watever. den he came to talk to me and he wanted to give me something.. den he kept saying it was free and everything. den i kinda refused coz i was kinda scared and.. LATE. so. i rejected him like so many times " wo bu yao etc . " den his face suddenly turned damn pissed off.. den i just run away or something lah. so it wuz like super dumb.
yah. so when i reached sch. i realized i had to be punished for skipping chinese remedial on friday. argh. den i told her abt my counselling stuffs and .. i kinda explained wrongly to her about it.. den she got so pissed off with me lor! wah. damn embrassing. hahaha.
so i didnt go counselling.. damn.
OH YAh!
and i saw this adorable maltese at the pet shop near sch!!! damn it. SOOO CUTEEEE!!!!!
cuter than my baby sug. lol.

i dun wanna play soccer tomorrow.. *pouts*

2005-01-29T20:39:00.000+08:00

I wrote a song yesterday in class! ((:
yup. so.. since yesterday ive been singing along to the lyrics and YAY. i finally got the tune. just. haha.

counselling ended damn early yesterday. so went jalan jalan ard tiongbahru plaza with nisa liangwei and daniel. lol. den left for home lah. thankfully got daniel accompany me otherwise i'll be damn bored. lol. yup.

so i wuz watchin american idol halfway till i fell asleep. damn tired lah. den had tuition today and pigged my day away. oh wait. im still pigging away. hahaha.

okay. i think im gonna post some OLD PICTURES TAKEN THOUSAND OF YEARS AGO. if not no one will start visiting my blog anymore coz its so boring. haha. ]

raine and bird.

han's hamster.

PEACE ((:

2005-01-27T17:12:00.000+08:00

Ive tried.
once and again.
to forget u. to forget your existence.
because.
time have proven that.
im not significant in ur eyes.
I turn around.
wanting to walk away from you.
you called me back.
manipulated my thinking.
made me fall to my knees,
without knowing.
Ive embraced my thoughts tightly.
wanting to sort things out.
but yet deep down inside.
u still hold a place in my heart.
even though i can never understand the games u play with me.
or the hurtful things u say indirectly.
u remain stagnant.
I hate you.
but i like you even more.
And the worst part is.
YOU DONT KNOW..
ANYTHING. ..

okay. nuff of da emo stuffs.

i didnt go to beyond'hangout' thing today coz of math. yup ((: im glad. coz i dun haf to play soccer. which i really dread. basically coz. im ball-o-phobic. yup.

probably visiting feebi with da rest of the 4Bs coz shes down with dengue. poor thing. she missed like 100days of sch last year and dis year she really need to pass her o's but yet she's just so weak and frail.
Poor girl.

yah so anyway. this is it.
Ciaos.
((:

Listening to : Coheed And Cambria - The crowing.
Mood : Super. duper. tired.

2005-01-26T22:23:00.000+08:00

Today is a terrible day.
Tomorrow will be a terrible day.
Yesterday was the terrible-lest day.
The future.. is terror.

wat can i actually say abt today anyway.

2005-01-25T22:15:00.000+08:00

save me from my sanity. now seriously.

2005-01-24T21:47:00.001+08:00

yay.
swam today at the older SMU campus.. weeeeee fun. fun.

and the guy ive been saying HOT..
is none other den desmondbeh. whom i knew since i was PRIMARY6! i coundnt even recognise him. DAMN. so stupid. hahaha.

2005-01-21T19:34:00.000+08:00

hello again. i seriously have nothing to blog about, except for the after-school "programme" im required to fufill. watever. uh. okay.
This is how it goes.. again. how boring.
er. sch finished at 1.45pm and everyone had to stay back for math remedial .. some peer tutoring stuffs. and i couldnt. WHY? bcoz i had to go to TIONGBAHRU! damn. so den.. after sch i walked myself to the mrt station.. den after that walked to jalan klinik behind tiongbahru plaza. uhhuh. den i saw some of the counselling guys at mac slacking.. and SMOKING! haha. altho they werent allowed so, coz mr.din said no smoking ard tiongbahru area. hahaha. watever. i dont care anyway. so i reached dere.. and damn. i was so bored. din den called me to the office to do some stuffs. yea. and soon, the rest of the counselling guys.. and girls.. came. uhhuh. and for the rest of the day till 5pm, nisha and i slacked in the office.. the soft soft sofa.. hahaha. den the rest of the girls went to the network room. den the guys got caught smoking.. lol. den kanna scolding. yup. er.
OKAE. i wanna say this. deres this new guy. whom i didnt see on wed so i guess he's new. . he's HOT HOT HOT. lol. as in SOO HOT. but i think he's that chinese ahbeng sort.. I hope not? lol. if not it'll be such a WASTE! argh. he's so Hot. hahaha.
okay. and we played touch rugby and a lil bit of soccer. damn dumb. i wuz so afraid of the ball.. im actuallie ball-o-phobic. lol. yah. soo.. i didnt reallie run much. den coach wuz like.. U run ah! run ah! hahaha. den while playing touch rugby my teammates were like saying izzit while the game i totally flew to the sky. coz hahaha. dey couldnt see me. i juz couldnt run and get the ball. COZ! im tooooo scared it'll hit me. yup. dere were opportunities to get the ball but i practically run away or shield myself. wahlau. so embarassing. lol. den that HOT guy was the spectator. OH man. i hope no one there knows abt this blog. LOL. coz he's like soo good looking and from montfort. lol. i think. yah. so anyway.. i dreamt abt him yesterday! lol. watever.
and monday, we're going SWIMMING. damn it!!!!! mr.din says he'll coach us. hahaha. den we have to prepare ourself for the trialthon thing. lol. so neway, im kinda in the non-swimmers group, coz those in the swimmers group have to swim real well. and that hot guy cant swim too. LOL.
den after that i used a finger to push mr.din. lol. den he pushed me back hardly. den josh.. also another counseller pushed me toO!! wahlau bully. lOl.
okay lah. thats abt all.
Happy hari raya haji people!
Mwahx*

listening to : bright lights by matchbox twenty.
mood : nothing.

2005-01-20T12:24:00.001+08:00

hello world!
now in computerlab. haha. tried blogging yesterday on my computer but.. yeah. dunnoe wats wrong with this shitty system. hehe.

okay. i wanna blog bout my first day at beyond counselling centre.
it wasnt as bad as i thought it was lors. hahaha. but the guys and the girls.. like those.. different from me. so it wuz quite hard for me to talk.. so yah. but it wuz actuallie quite fun. im going again later.. den we're going to play soccer. *sigh* thats so boring. Yah yah. er. i wanna hurry finish. hahaha.

today got american idol! haha.

i hate people finding out my past.

2005-01-20T12:24:00.000+08:00

2005-01-16T18:00:00.000+08:00

ive been getting the nightmares for the past two days. im really dreading to go on the 19th. im like.. afraid im gonna be like so damn extra dere or somethin. den everybody dere will shun me or somethin. due to the countless thoughts ive had thru out the day, the nightmares tend to decipher my day thoughts.. im not sure wat will happen actually.. but.. i hope it'll be okay. seriously.
i hope i only gotta go for like 1 month and den dey let me off. sighhhhh.

* prays like so damn blardi hard. *

okay.
here's what im so mad about during the parent's meeting.

As u noe, im suppose to go for the goddamn streetwise counselling " HANGOUT " thing. and its gonna be like.. everyday for a month.. and den for the next months it'll be according to ur schedule. so. like obviously its my last year.. which means extra studying and all. it'll be meaningless hanging out dere 3pm to 8pm every stupid single day and see all the ahbengs and ahlians faces. yup. its damn dumb rite. so.. my daddie and mommie thinks its reallie stupid too. so during the parents meeting, daddie went over to talk to my principal, who is a big ugly slut. BITCH. LOSER. okay. er. so he told her. if she could help me write in a letter to say i cant make it everyday due to the never ending remedials and all .. supp classes and all.. ccas and all. right? so she said " is this a court case? " LIKE OBVIOUSLY NOT. since i didnt even go to COURT. fuck. so. its either shes sans hearing OR WATEVER's wrong with her DUMB wrinkly ears. she said she cant interfere with court cases. Oh yeah. u dumb bitch. den she glared at me like im some kinda REBEL. which im so not. den she said rudely to my parents " i dun haf enough teachers to be her guardian so she can get opt out of the whole programme, since she started it. " U FUCKIN SLUT! its not as if im like begging u to get me outta it. i know i haf to go. den she goes like.. " Jileen is also in this programme and blah blah " and starts bad mouthin some girl called jileen, WHOM MY PARENTS DONT EVEN NOE. like obviously im not to that extent of punishment! and im not even close to jileen one bit so how come she was dragged into this friggin conversation?? LIKE WAT THE FUCK??argh! den she was like.. so totally indirectly insulting me and all. its like? WATS HER FUCKIN PROBLEMM????????
den at the end, she said " i wont do anything. if needed, get the counsellor to come over to talk. "
OH MAN. and wat did she say before the talk? she said. " if ur child needs help we will try our best. " FUCK. she didnt even try anything. HOW IRONIC. PATHETIC LOSER. im so friggin angrie.
its like? WAT KINDA PRINCIPAL ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?!!!!???!?!?!!?!?!?!! u didnt even phrase ur words nicely. WORSE, SNUBBED MY PARENTS!?~?! u big. fat. BUTTFACE!
fuck.

2005-01-14T18:14:00.000+08:00

: UPDATE.

juz went for the parents meeting.
the principal's a slut.
we cant stop cursing her.
daddy, mummy, and i.
FUCK OFF. BITCH.
u suck totally.
Signed off.

okay. SWP is officially starting on wednesday, 19th jan 2005.
somebody, KICK MY ASS PLEASE.

i hate this. damn it. DAMN IT. DAMMMNNNNN IT. Drats. idiiooootic.

did dis new chapter in chem today which required us to like mix chemicals and all and observe and test for stuffs. it wuz damn cool. dere was one.. i cant remember the name though, i think its zinc oxide? haha. added with hydrochloricacid and *POOF* white gas starts coming out. lol. its actually oxygen gas. yah.. so it wuz reallie kewl. furthermore, dere were like pungent ammonia gas and all.

Im sooo beginning to LOVE CHEMISTRY. hahaha.

yah so anyway, recently i reallie need lots of alone time. go and.. " san san xing " or somethin. yahhh.
and we played this really thrashy game durin CME tt we have to like exchange names with people den like noe abt the person whose name u receive, from some other else. so... i got OWEN! and i made up that his favourite hobby was " TO SHOW OFF HIS HAIRY LEGS. " hahahaha. damn it i cant stop luffin. den yockbing got mine. EEW???? GROSS OUT. he kept fondling with feebi's hair my god. and like tried to sexually harass her. so watever.
den someone made up " shave armpit hair. " LOL.
den the whole game was damn corrupted coz we were all like making up stuffs abt someone's favorite hobby singers and etc. KENNETH's favourite food is CHICKEN ASS and meeta's favourite hobby is RAPE BOYS. hahaha. i cant stop luffin. LOL!!!!!

2005-01-13T17:33:00.000+08:00

Why is it when you really need to call someone.
u start looking at ur phone book.
yet, theres no one u can call.
its almost as if everything's oblivious to ur presence.
Why is it when you feel like running away.
u look beside u, infront and behind,
but deres no one in sight?

Why do u promise me things
but never fufill?
Why do u say you'll be there,
when u noe u will never be?

Why is it when im at my most lowest point
and i tried to seek for ur encouragement,
u snubbed me and left?

Why do u haf to put on mask
infront of me,
and try to act as if u dont noe me.
its almost as if u dont care.

u dont haf to tell me,
that im wrong.
coz i noe. i wuz wrong leading u on before.
i gave u false hopes.
but yet, u forgave me.

now, its all a different story.

Love, Fiona.

2005-01-11T17:55:00.000+08:00

ahhh!

damn. sch wuz soooo boring today. I think i almost died... siarhz. lol. so after sch went to j8 with justin faiz nariysa zhiwei .. wanted to watch Meet the Fockers.. haha. but damn dumb lah. didnt watch in the end. coz.. the guy at the counter wuz lyk saying the " bouncers " are kinda strict as they random check..the tickets wont be able to refund.. watever. j8 has loser staffs. hahaha. but we're gonna watch on thursday or saturday. yup.
uhhhh. friday is the meet the parents session for 4exp 5na 4na/nt. daddy and mommy doesnt even wanna go. but.. principal wuz lyk. " if they dont go i'll call them and make appointment. " sighhh. its gonna be like SUPER BORING. and we haf to like go for the Q AND A, which cant be skipped. my parents dun haf anythin to ask anyway. haha.
watever lah. haha...

thats abt all. DAMN. i hate this. Lol.

listening to : Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams.
mood : sleepy. GOODNIGHT ((:

2005-01-09T17:02:00.000+08:00

im in the midst of ss homework which i could have done the past 4 days but NOOO i had to procrastinate till sunday and stay up..AGAIN.. to finish. okae fine. and i still haf fnn work not done. damn damn.
went wisma with family today coz i wanted to buy this roxy bag. but yup. i so changed my mind and bought this OP bag. damn. i cant believe wat got into me. DAMN. i thought that i'll just get the ugly op bag since its only for school and if i would to buy the roxy bag den i would be heartbroken if it gets dirty. OMG wat a stupid BITCH. i can go and like jump down from the tenth storey. but watever it is, i alreadie bought it. so... i dont care.

faiz wanted to commit suicide yesterday. i tried calling him but he just wouldnt take my calls. i really wonder how is he now. he sounded exceptionally depressed yesterday. it was just so not him. sigh. i reallie wonder how's he now... sighs.

yeah. i reallie cant wait to finish this year. damn.
i think im gonna try to make peace with everyone.

im going to watch tv now and throwing my work aside.
ciaos.

2005-01-08T09:38:00.000+08:00

hello world.
its like 9.30am right now and no one's awake to talk to me!

didnt go sch fer 2 days. *laughs for no reason* yah.
uhhhhh. den it wuz friday yesterday.
i wuz so bored i walked 4 metres to rayner's house.
and watched CKY videos. which is like damn dumb and sadistic.. but reallie FUNNIE. hehe.
so yah. den i watched part of EuroTrip which wuz a lil too offending! its juz like watching shrek. haha. dis ger called FIONA in the show.. IS A WHORE. lolz. and she made out on stage while her bf wuz singing some " scottie doesnt noe! " lol. yup yup. den alex came over with the intention of swimming, but didnt get to. awww.
so anyway.. yah. im truly BORED right now.

damnz. damn. DAMN.
i so hope 2005 will be much better.
it screams nth but plain boredom.

im like suppose to go for this youth cathecism thingy tomorrow at IHM. and im still considering. damn. i have 23 and a half hours to think whether i wanna go. argh. so how how how. shud i go? hehe. argh. nvm. i'll go interview some pple later on. hehe.

SCHOOL's reallie BORING ME.
arghz.

so far, swp has not started yet.. so.. im like crossing my fingers. oookie. somehow i get this SUDDEN FEELING that its not gonna come. dey'll probably cancel me of their list. man. i reallie hope so. but den after this SUDDEN FEELING i get this anxiety and starts jumping around like some kangaroo coz im reallie. REALLIE. HATING to go. so.. well. yah. hahaha.

thats abt all.. larhz. guess i'll come ard and blog later.

mwahz.

listening to : All american rejects - swing swing.
mood : bored.

2005-01-06T00:19:00.000+08:00

Sometimes you look at ur reflection.
and ask WHY?

it stares back at you.

THE AGONY! hehe.

Well. the answer is. things happen for a REASON! and the reason is you! i love u!

Which is actually really weird as i seem to lose my senses.

But im thankful 2005 have arrived.

i hope things do improve for the better.

as u noe, KARMA exists. so i better start being good. OR ELSE! hehe.

loves, FIONA.

Shouts.

Ive been feelin extremely sad for a friend of mine. Injured his knee and got despised by his team mates due to injury. and also, feelin reallie tight at sch and all. and his gf. blah blah blah. yup. I hope his life gets better, and he manages to get one of the two placings in the new team!

2005-01-02T09:09:00.000+08:00

hi ((:

To the whole world,
Life is extremely fragile! Do treasure it. Forgive your enemies. Discrimination's outta da question. yup. do have a happie 2005, enjoy yourself to the fullest. Never let anyone get into your way. Overcome obstacles and u'll be stronger. Dont be that royal bitch. everyone's gonna love u for who u are.

-xox- Fiona.

My New Year Resolutions.

1) gd results. thats so original. hehe.
2) to shut up at times when needed.
3) to stop blabbing so much.
4) to stop poking my nose into anyone's business.
5) to stop having any stuffs against blangadesh men. im sorry. its true. im trying!
6) forgive and forget. pride isnt that important after all.
7) get rid of superficiality in my blood.
8) its alwaes better to give than to receive.
9) SLIM DOWN. damn.
10) run at least twice a week, which ive onli fufilled for 3 week of the 8 weeks holiday. typical.
11) TREASURE MY FRIENDS, FAMILY, everyone. the whole world.
12) forget forget ________
13) be goddamn hardworking.. LARH. hehe.
14) materials aint impt.

thats abt all. hehe.

HOW I SPENT MY NEW YEARS EVE.

again. hang ard goodwordpark hotel. hehe.

MY ULTIMATE WISH.

skip swp. GOD. please. please. please.

i love y'all.

2004-12-28T13:08:00.000+08:00

dis is gonna sound like super stupid.. but yeah..

Deepest condolences to the people who lost their love ones in the recent tragedy that hit asia. Who could predict this catastrophe? Imagine bidding ur love ones farewell as they slowly walked into the depths of death without knowing? This disaster had motivated me, in a way, to get all the things ive alwaes wanted to do, done. Who knows what will happen tomorrow? They say, singapore is geographically safe. They had also said the ocean that surrounds the affected area were unlikely to experience tsunami waves and all? We will never know what will come next. Seeing dead bodies and ruined land plastered all over the strait times shocked me. nobody had expected all this. No one can predict the future. We never depend on anybody, but ourselves. Survivors recollect the first-hand experience, families sobbing. crying. wailing. for their kins. I hate to think what will happen in time to come.
Till then,
treasure the people around you.

Love,
Fiona.

2004-12-27T15:02:00.000+08:00

zach all came over to swim today. yup. and i seemed lost today. was practically stoning the whole day. whenever dey talked to me i'll ponder over who-knows-what and den i'll be like HUH? reallie lost today. i dont noe. i guess he's all over my mind. YUP. YUP. YUP.. damn. i feel so used. Chicken mcnugget USED.
damn. DAMN. damn. DAMN. damn. DAMN.

i think, ive fallen, deeper than ever.

2004-12-26T14:19:00.000+08:00

Merry Xmas, All.
spent my xmas eve at goodwood's, courtesy of owen. hehe. most of da ex-2bs were dere.. yup. watched 3 dvds dere on his lap top.. Mean Girls, Harold and Kumar goes to White Castle, Scary Movie. yeah. den at abt 4am, went to 7eleven at fareast with liling to get water! i wuz damn thirsty. yeah. den she bought cup noodles. den i was holding this chilli crab flavour noodles in my hands, which was the only one left in the whole shelf. den this ahbeng said in chinese to his friends that ive taken the last piece so never mind. n it wuz not as if i wanted it i wuz juz holding it while she get the curry chicken. so i told him to take it. he wuz like. never mind. uhhh. okae. den i put it back. den he took it. he asked if i still wanted it. yeah. so dumb. watever.
went home at 7am with han. wuz damn tired. came home, took a shower and slept till 4pm. got up to watch the encore of miss world. den went toapayoh with family to watch kungfu hustle. yeah. came back not long only. reallie tired. tired. tired.

and i waited 10000000000 years for his msg, but yeah. should have guessed it out anywae. sometimes i juz cant help but feel if you were juz saying or u reallie mean it. i dont trust u as much. it doesnt reallie matter how much i feel for u, since u come and go as u please. i guess i'll play spectator and lead and victim this round.
This irony is killing me.

Soo. yah. watever.

listening to : Karma by Alicia Keys
mood : I-hate-you-but-i-like-you-even-more.

2004-12-24T14:02:00.000+08:00

went down town to get xmas prezzies for mah fwens today with owen+justin. he treats nariysa like an angel! getting her almost everything he thinks she'll like. aww. how sweet. lol.
we ate yoshinoya. yay. er. and justin dressed like how those ahbengs dressed nowadays. polo tee plus baggy jeans. HAHA. he still went to buy this ultra sharp ear stud, to make it seem like its enlarged. so ahbeng-lookalike. LOL. ya. saw yong today. he looked kinda shocked to see me. haha. and seif! with his family at fareast. HUGE COINCIDENCE. yup yup. He's younger bro looks like a carbon copy of him. haha.
and den i stopped at hula&co, which is my favourite shop to get accesories. yup. haha. im so lovin it. yay.

tomorrow owen's openin hotel at goodwood's.
earlie merry xmas pple.
i love . YOU ALL.

2004-12-21T06:10:00.000+08:00

came back from KL yesterday nite. the jam was terrible. less than 100km on the causeway to the checkpoint took alreadie 2 hrs. argh! KL aint that fantastic. was kinda boring. bought jeans and shoes..and a book! yup. haha. i miss KLCC's food court's penang char kway teow! KLCC had all the branded shops and all. haha. the bad things : the malays dere are so inconsiderate! they chiong into the lift even before we can get out. how rude. the taxi driver seems to be addicted to diesel. damn. and cheat money also.. haha.
den i got some stuffs for friends, but aint really sure they will actually like it.
some pictures!

the day before leaving.. haha.

The coach to KL!

in the coach. look kinda stupid rite. haha.

the hotel's xmas tree! Crowne Plaza Mutiara, KL. really posh. wanted to take pictures of the crystal stuffs but my cam was kinda lousy. yah.

the nxt day, packing our bags..

back home.. :(

reached home at 12.45am and slept at 5am. was talkin to rayner. first it was msn and we had webcam conferencing which was so stupid bcoz i dont have a webcam and he did stupid stuffs to the cam. lOL.
thats abt all..

heres somethin really coincidental.

Rayner( my neighbour ) knows zach and alex and roche ( childhood friends ) and they all know each other. and he's a fren's fren. and so on. sg is really so small. yup. tts abt all.

listening to : yellowcard - empty apartment.
mood : bored.

2004-12-15T04:42:00.000+08:00

I got My Good Progress Award again this year. Yay. haha. $150! ((: happy. didnt expect to get it. haha.
erm. goin to acc. my sister to takashimaya to get her stupid bracelet. we were supposed to collect it like 1 week ago. arghh! lazy to go out.. but. gonna get dat op bag for $10 coz my daddy got the voucher and stuffs. so my sister wants it. watever. yah. den go mommy's office. till then, bye!

2004-12-12T15:33:00.000+08:00

Shakira - Underneath Your Clothes. ( ohhh boy. im lovin it. )
You're a song
Written by the hands of god
Don't get me wrong cause
This might sound to you a bit odd
But you own the place
Where all my thoughts go hiding
And right under your clothes Is where I find them

Chorus.
Underneath Your Clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose
There's my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey

Because of you
I forgot the smart ways to lie
Because of you
I'm running out of reasons to cry
When the friends are gone
When the party's over
We will still belong to each other

Chorus x2

I love you more than all that's on the planet
Movin' talkin' walkin' breathing
You know it's true
Oh baby it's so funny
You almost don't believe it
As every voice is hanging from the silence
Lamps are hanging from the ceiling
Like a lady tied to her manners
I'm tied up to this feeling

okkkay. hi. crashed town today with han. wisma -> Takashimaya..and a so-called kiasu way of reserving seats at coffeebean. -> Cine -> plazasingapura. just browsed around, hehe. saw bryant at the entrance.. and then. jason workin at giordano. jeanice and friends at precious thots.. yup. bought a pair of earrings and a few clips. .. and den we saw this nice skirt for less than $40. uhhhuhhh. and HOME. HOME. HOME.

2004-12-12T02:47:00.000+08:00

awwww man. i can finally blog. waited for like 2 hours for this page to load, with constant refreshing but it just didnt wanna listen!
okay. er. yesterday. went coffee bean sgoon gardens with gk to collect textbooks! shes giving me her texts. thanks! okay. i think i said tt like a million times. okay. er. so we sat dere from 2pm - 6pm talking and talking. from a sunny sky to raindrops and den back to a sunny sky. uhhuh. and i almost died in the cold. my goose pimples were soooo visible. yes yes yes.
i kinda cant wait to see sean char zach alex. have not been seeing them for like 2 years. guess everyone changed yeah. we knew each other since.. we were 4. sooooo.. its kinda nice. haha.
thats abt all.

listening to : Shakira's Underneath your clothes. im lovin it.
mood : sleepy. zZz.

2004-12-08T10:46:00.000+08:00

hello world.
so i went town with mommy today for awhile to get some stuffs. and of coz, with my sister, the DRAG QUEEN. lol.
we're going to goldenmile for steamboat later on. also, to book coaches for our kl trip. apparently, we were suppose to go this week but the agency was corked up anywae. so we're probably going on the 18th.
schs freakin reopening soon and its scaring me. i cant seem to accept im gonna be 16 nxt year. haha. adding on to the misery, the absence is actually devouring me from inside. i feel so freakin tormented. it juz isnt meant to be!!!!!!!!!!
till then.......
bye.

i love my dog.

2004-12-04T04:07:00.000+08:00

yay. i screamed when taufik's name was announced. AHHHHHH! charmer.. haha.

went town ytd to get my ZARA TEE!!! so elated! hahaha. monday goin town with mommy to get some clothes. den we're going to kl nxt week.. weeeee~

now im going to make u dance.
get your chance.
yeah boy shake that ass.
oops i meant girl. Girl girl girl.
girl u noe u're mah world.
alrite now lose it. ( ahhh ahh ahhh )
just lose it. ( ahh ahh ahhh )
go crazy. ( ahh ahh ahh )
oh baby.

IM MISSING YOU RIGHT NOW.

listening to : Just lose it.
mood : ahh ahhh ahh.

2004-12-01T14:38:00.000+08:00

Surprise surprise. NOT!
i fell down from the stairs IN my house. 7 steps. and i FELL ON MY ASS. which is still hurting, btw. OUCHIE! and i hurt my elbow too. which HURTS when i press something against it. The worst part is.
my sister is a crazy ointment-rubber. DAMN. i hate that smell.
OUCHIE.
DAMN IT!!

listening to : Toploader - Dancing In The Moonlight
mood : GROUCHIE!!!!!!!!!!

2004-11-30T04:42:00.000+08:00

ahhhhs ((:
okay. err. went to courts toapayoh ytd with my family coz dey wanted to see some stuffs den had dinner at FIESTA! shoik. hahaha. yah.
im still craving for the ZARA TEE! and the PROJECTSHOPBLOODBROS bag. and the TOPSHOP TEE... argh. damn damn damn damn. and the Freshimp skirt lahhhhhhhhhhhh. soooo heart-wrenching. and i so promised the little brat sister of mine to bring her go Xzone at db mrt station. argh. regrets regrets.
since daddy's license got suspended and stuffs, dey will be changing a smaller car for my mommy to drive. hehe. they gave me a few choices and i chose.. mazda3!! the newer version.. cant wait till im 18 so i can learn how to drive. haha. by the time im 18 daddy's license wont be suspended anymore. cool. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. i feel ike eating my toes.
GWEN STEFANI rocks. ((:

haha.
listening to : No doubt - DONT SPEAK. love. love. love.
mood : eccentric.

2004-11-27T13:03:00.000+08:00

why are most of the people i noe SYLVESTER FANS?
Taufik is soo charming. screams. mommy disallows me to vote for taufik coz they ( mom and sis ) are rooting for sly. UHHUH. how unrealistic. but daddy forbids them to vote coz he doesnt like sly. realistic daddy. yay. lols. now we are not allowed to vote. taufik! taufik taufik taufik! hehe.

okae. went out today and went to have coffee club's fruits fondue and i squandered all my money on food. ARGH. and i saw dis very nice zara top for $16.90 which i cannot buy coz . i used em up. argh. wat dumb luck. hope i can go back asap to buy that top, which has sooo many colours. lols. two days ago i saw this very nice vintage-like bracelet at harbourfront mall which is selling for $30. but, buy 1 get 1 free. how nice. but ahhh. (U) lah! haha. its an msn emotion btw.

sean msged me in friendster today. he asked the five of us to come out and catch up with each other, since we last saw each other at genting two years ago. cool. ((: we knew each other since we were young kids sooo. its like. ya noe. nice. hehe.

mommy dated me to watch incredibles. LOL. we got free tickets coz daddy can exchange em with his bp points. yay. so i told her to watch during the weekends coz, since they are free tickets, weekends are $8.50 and its more worth it. LOL. damnnnn. i am so REALISTIC. yes.

and thats abt all lah. i juz wanna sae. i love taufik.

hehe.

listening to : nothing!
mood : elated.

ps. ben disgusts me. =X

2004-11-25T12:32:00.000+08:00

Dad commented i have a FAT face. now im even more determined to SHED. but. its been raining non-stop lately and it hinders my motivation.
Dad has his license suspended alreadie. if more den a year, gonna be revoked. sigh. SIGH. sigh. so sway. nobody fetch mi to school anymore. arghhhhh.
Watched Agent Cody Banks at home today. nice nice.
i found a webbie to download songs. lol. ECSTATIC.
tomorrow is thursday ((:

yes.
and
nothing
else.

Listening to : Shakira- Underneath your clothes..
Mood : weird.

I miss u
i miss u
i miss u
I miss u
i miss u~

2004-11-23T11:21:00.000+08:00

hi.
been M.I.A-ed the whole two days. miss calls. sorrie guys ) :
yah. so anyway. i feel very motivated to lose weight and EXERCISE!
things have been going real smoothly and im living a penniless life, the deprivation of the dollars. ive not been going out, but just tv-watching, and exercising+runnin.. play with my baby.. play computer games.. which sounds reallie no life.
Tarot cards seem to foretell the soccer matches, according to my mother. yet it sounds just so coincidentally. Oh well, im crossing my fingers till sch reopens, in hope all the problems dont come rolling in at once ( SWP. argh. DREADS. )
till den, im hooked up with the tv like im getting married to my fiance. i have an engagement with the mitsubitshi ( somethin liddat rite? ) downstairs. hehe.
cya people.
( i dont noe why i am trying TOO HARD to make my blog sound different. it didnt work. argh. )

Loves. Loves. xox.
Fionaa.

Listening to : Sixpence None The Richer - KISS ME. love it.
mood : Relaxed.

2004-11-21T03:06:00.000+08:00

Olinda was out yesterday. altho.. she deserves it, it was kinda expected i guess. Singapore is such a political country. I guess the reason why they dont show the percentage of the votes.. is.. they probably doctored the results. well. sly has so many supporters and the government said they want to make singapore a musical hub. and sly fits the bill anywae. like local singer tanya chua, started out as an english-singing person.. yet switch to chinese. i guess this is the asian politics. Sly does represent most of the singaporeans. soooooo... yah. sigh. wat a commercial country. everything's all planned out. but its okay. i still support TAUFIKKKKKKK. ((: sooo charming. hees.
and i may be going to the FINALS! yeah. at da indoor stadium. mommy's frenn auntie su has lobangg. haha. yah.
i bought a new book yesterday. i cant wait to read it. going on hols in dec. saving it till then.
Taxi was great. worth my $7.50! hees.

listening to : Jamelia - Superstarr.
mood : neutral.

2004-11-18T12:55:00.000+08:00

After a short. short. short. hiatus, i finally changed my layout. which is still as ordinary. but. yah. uhhuh. i dont noe.
im not going for the camp tmr. the thought of gruesome toilets and sleeping places brings shivers. im so not a camping person.
ive been doing lots of jogging and running and walking and exercising lately. yet, eating unnessary food to increase the unnessary bulge. damn it. it sounds so ironic all of a sudden.
i suddenly got this fetish for vintage stuffs. i squeal and jump around whenever i see them. thats so dumb.
i like snow ice. i have a sudden craving for it right now.
while everything seems so bleak and dense now, i am going to catch up on some tv. amazing race.

listening to : Shake Ya body - Tyra Banks
mood : stoning.

2004-11-07T06:28:00.000+08:00

Sara from ANTM. Angelina Jolie lookalike.

pity shes out nxt week eh?

2004-11-04T08:26:00.000+08:00

juz bought this weeks 8 days. showing the singapore idol finalists' rooms. oli's room is so damn blardi big. oh gawd. rich kid. u guys shud buy it. hah*
so anywae. left sch earlie todae. my head was hurting. everytime i stare at something i feel damn dizzy like im gonna faint. yah. walked to heartland den saw de lao shi. ya. hmm. wat to sae todae? damn bored at sch. still considering if i wanna come sch tmr anot. its gonna be so darn boring. so ive alreadie decided what to do for the holidays. tennis and swimming. yah. cant be dropping by town coz im seriously broke and the things there tempts me. yah. uhhuh. errr.
i wuz walking outta sch with zhiwei juz now and i was telling him everything. i wuz so darn pissed off juz now coz of some stuffs. ya noe. i dun reallie understand why am i alwaes gettin that feeling. maybe i shud juz live in my own isolation. its better that way. uhhuh.
oh yah. and had chem with ms lim and shes actuallie quite good. im actuallie understanding the mole concepts and i got all correct. yay. haha. ms ye explained it to be countless of times yet i couldnt get it. now i noe. how elated... ( as if ) .
to round everything up, im so gonna get outta here. as in. for the whole dec holiday. yah. which may seem like a month ahead. but. yah. thats abt all. u dun care anywae.

loves. fiona.

listening to : switchfoot - GONE. i love dis track ah.
mood : i-hate-attitude-ERS. get outta my life..

p.s Yesterdae was a happie day. ohhhh gawd. it was Great.

2004-11-02T10:41:00.000+08:00

had to go back to sch for some extended programme. super sian, as usual. uhhuhs. errrr. yes. and kairuo had me drooling telling me all abt raw salmon with japanese rice at her dad's fren's place. yah. argh. n it wuz raining so heavily i couldnt borrow an umbrella coz they dun allow me as i didnt return the other one. okay nvm. hehe. den shared with lorraine. so grateful to her. haz. errr. yesterdae when fer my sister's edvox sch recital. damn cool. wish i can go for more of these kinda stuffs. altho.. dun reallie appreciate classical music but. yah. its nice. haz. after that dad came home from genting n wuz at amoy st so mum fetched him from there and we had steamboat at Goldenmile. damn creepy. dad made us walk the back way where we had to like walk pass these indoor kopitiam and ktv and bar lounge. den everybody wuz staring at us and those thailand construction men were like singing and the ladies were like wearing like ERHEMZ i think dey are too coz i asked dad if thai men work as construction workers den thai woman? And i meant those hanging around at Goldenmile ONLY okay. he told me ERHEMz. yes. too obscene. and noe why im bloggin dis? too bored lah. hahz. den went to take my new contacts after dinner at heartland, and then to cold storage to buy some groceries... uhhuh
i dont noe wat to say. everythin's gone all so messed up right now. sometimes i juz feel used. dont noe why. uhhuh. dont even noe if u all are my true friends or not. sometimes i try not to think abt all those times where i feel all so alone. okae.
besides all these, U're making me feel like a fool. U NOE??

listening to Alicia Keys A WOMAN's WORTH.
mood. fcuked up.

2004-10-30T13:16:00.000+08:00

sometimes, i do feel very extra. very out of place. i haf my doubts in everything. maybe im juz too different to blend in? sigh.
got snubbed twice today. feeling so demoralized.. sighzz.
watched SI and christopher got voted off. so sad.
watched THE CHAMPION and YILIN is such a big bitch. sighh.
got 7th in class with quite unsatisfying results, cannot even go JC. still wanna tok abt SA. i can go dream on. sighh.

i only haf me, myself, and i.

listening to : Jewel = i'm leavin on a jet plane.

2004-10-29T13:05:00.000+08:00

yes. another regretful day at sch today. uhhuh. i woke up at 6.30 and actuallie got up to prepare at 6.40. for the 10 minutes i was thinkin if i shud go to sch or not. den i thot. 5 periods of FNN, maybe can cook. furthermore, kairuo told me that we had to stay back today for dunnoe wat by mrs pang. reluctantly, i dragged myself out of bed. and obviously, i was late. finished at 7.15 and dad had to fetch me to school. yahh. AND GUESS WAT. mrs pang nvr come sch.. sigh. another wasted day. for the whole day in class, played DAIDEE..DAIDEE..and more DAIDEE. super no life lahz. haha. den we had dis talk abt STDS and AIDS and the pictures were da grossest things ive ever seen. an infected private parts with sores all over it. YUCK. den dey showed dis CLIP and it was nice. hahaha. and JEREMY PANG from QUAN MING OU XIANG acted in it and hes sooooooo gd looking. hahaha. yah. after school juz came home immediately. i guess we were all tired and stuffs.
nothin happen for the few days coz ive been doing nothin but being a couch potato all day. uhhuh* and sec3/2 camp is coming and im dreading yet anticipating. UHHUH* yah. so thats abt all lah.

hahahaz. muahhhhz ((:
tmr get report book!

2004-10-27T09:17:00.000+08:00

ive been too lazy to blog. uhhuh* yesterdae wuz Monday, which wuz a sch hol n i wuz ALMOST DEAD at home. i kept going in and out of my maids room to tell her " SO BORING! " and she juz laugh. lol.
uhhuh*

so im like super bored right now..

DATE ME, SOMEBODY.

2004-10-25T05:43:00.000+08:00

if only i can re-live my life again.

so anywae. yesterdae caught Ouija Board with Hanz n fuzz. yah. ermm. it wuz damn scary and i couldnt sleep. uhhuh*
dont know why lately ive been thinkin of all my pri sch frens. i miss them so much. sigh. if onli i wasnt that easy to influence.. we'll still ALL be very good frens. sighh. REGRETS! but yahh. sigh.
dont noe wat some people are thinking also. dey juz seem to be contradicting themselves. tell me abt it. i juz dun get it. u juz seem to haf two personalities. but yah. its okay alrite. im not gonna bother abt it anymore. u can juz do wat u like i'll still treat u as one of my gd fren.. regardless of wat u're thinkin. since u dun actuallie trust me that much i shan't bother too much also.

ciaoz.
LONER KID.

2004-10-23T06:53:00.000+08:00

Results day.

English Paper Two - 31.5 / 50

Combined Sci - 37 / 50 ( Phy ) 30.5 / 50 (Chem)

Math Paper One - 30 / 80

Math Paper Two - 46 / 100

Chinese Paper One - 40 / 70

Chinese Paper Two - 50 / 100

Social Studies - 23 / 25 (Sec.A SBQ) 19 / 25 ( Sec.B)

Fnn - 58 / 100

Accounts - 66 / 100

Not reallie good eh? Considerin da fact dat i failed math n stuff.

solitude

again..
im
feelin
lyk
da
worst
human
being
on
earth.

P/s : Thank you Lihan for da prezzie. ((:

2004-10-22T07:01:00.000+08:00

juz when i was getting seriously true..
u make me juz lyk a BIG FOOL..

I hate you.

I hate you..

But i like you even more.

2004-10-20T13:58:00.000+08:00

and okay. skipped sch todae coz i couldnt wake up. Uhhuh* gd thing eh? coz it would be like super sian according to dearies. yea.. errrr. i think lihan's on the coach to penang now and im MISSING HER ALREADIE. hmmmm. yah. haha. wunder wat deir doin rite now.. errrrr...
yeah. erm. everything's so freaky now. dun ask me why. so todae i came across my bdae prezzie from dearies.. while i wuz lookin for my mag ( cleo nov issue ) .. so yah. i decided to write in a page of how im feeling from deep down inside. thank god the book doesnt mind my constant rantings. It'll nvr noe how irritating i can get. so yah.
i think i hate everything.. for now. so super exasperated with everything.
Life juz made a fool outta me. how stupid of me. argh.

so anywae. I want a vespa rite now. its soooo cute man. arghhhh..HERE.

okae. i love the pink one especially. ARGH. soooo cute.

And the VOLKSWAGEN. soo cute.

cant find the pink one on da net.. er. i was lazy to search the pages. but the silver one is nice too.

3 more years to 18. oh well.

2004-10-19T11:40:00.000+08:00

yeah.. very very bored now. did nth but pig at home fer lyk 2 days. exams are over. stress-less, but boring. argh. okay. on sunday i watched zhen qing and i cried lyk mad coz yongqin died n it wuz lyk damn sad and my eyes were puffy and stuffs. den dad brought us to eat prata for supper n stuffs. kinda nice. wanna try da jalan kayu cheese prata but dad said da shop not gd. but nvm. goin to try it one night with my dearies. yeahh..
todae ahh. regretted comin to sch. kinda overslept den went to sch late lah. den i didnt get caught coz dey let me go ( soo good of them ah ) den kenneth called me to tell me he's opposite. oso late. wat a coincidence. he oso didnt get caught. onli yockbing did. LOL. den he had to do so much punishment. the whole day wuz boring coz we juz stayed in da hall doin nth. so i reallie regret lah its so boring can. argh. den after sch went kfc awhile. lorraine ditched me and hanz coz she saw her bus. aiyahhh. she ah. excited to go out only. ditcher! lol. alvin called me den and scared me by sayin he wuz frm amk npp. wat the hell. got a shock outta my life. he wuz gleeful lah. so happie he tricked me. den jiajun called me to tell me he saw me and stuff. but when i saw them n wanted to sae hi dey were goin down da escalator alreadie. sooo yah. and i was like abused the whole day by two idiots RAINE AND HAN. dey kept abusing me in the hall. i feel so torn now. crazie abusers. uhhuhhh. tmr's gonna be another boring day again i guess. its like super sian alwaes. waiting for IT to like start or something. very very pressurizin. i seem to be traumatized by reality alreadie.

i look fat here.

LASTLY!! a love declaration!

OKAE? haha.

LOVELORN.

2004-10-17T13:34:00.000+08:00

rmb da last post when i said i lost my ezlink card + holder + $10?
claimed it back.
some good soul gave it to da lost n found dept at orchard mrt.. with da money intact. man. if i noe hu's that im gonna gif da person a huge kiss. haha.

went town todae with lorraine n faiz. lol. took some neoz. and i juz cut my hair lah it looks kinda stupid looking.. erm. yahh. and i SAW NATHANIEL FROM SINGAPORE IDOL. backtrack a lil, i wuz gushin over him da other time and i voted fer him lyk crazie. yet he didnt get in. never mind. but i saw him. REGRETTED NOT TALKIN TO HIM. he was like slackin at da railing at heeren. i walked pass and flew to the sky. den from above i took a picture. cant reallie see. catch da picz when u scroll down. haha. den lorraine dear n i kinda chatted abt lotsa stuffs. from frens.. to guys.. i love talkin to MY LORRAINE THE sexaye KITTEN. =X sounds erotic? dun get da wrong idea. LOL. haiya den we were lyk so broke till we went home earlie. 3 pple sharing a plate of wedges+dory and icemochaicecream. pathetic? l0l. oh yah. and saw merv with jane and two sec two girls.. erm. i think nathania and apple ? not very sure. lol. at kinokuniya. wuz chiatying bdae den i saw deir clique at town todae. haha.

My new hair. weird rite????

nathaniel at singapore idol..

nathaniel!! he is the one in blue shirt. cant see his face la but at least i tried.

pictures taken todae. we all look funnie rite??

last nite had a good chat with miss lee and i heeded her advice n im a happie soul rite now. Heez. feel so elated lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

P/s : we missed lihan today.

2004-10-16T06:16:00.000+08:00

TRAUMATIZED.

Seriously. I dun noe how i can actuallie overcome dis huge obstacle. everythin seems so blurry ahead and i dun noe how much agony am i gonna suffer. The facts are right infront of me. Its all a matter of time. Time flies. but.. i dun wanna wait aimlessly for somethin i dun desire. cant God juz change the fact for once. i feel so locked. its like. everything seems to be going haywire. im juz traumatized by everything. everything seem so saddening to be actuallie true. it juz isnt going right. i dun wanna wait for time to pass by, till it is my turn to get fried. 1 out of 10 pple..or maybe. 1 out of 100000 people . that very ONE person is me. i juz dun get it. cant life juz be normal like everybody else's?

Show me a miracle. plz. before i reallie reallie go crazy. n reallie reallie. REALLIE.

2004-10-15T08:32:00.000+08:00

hi people.
yesterdae wuz a full day for me. n here it goes.

Had math paper 2 ( da last paper ) den wuz so elated coz whoa. finally no need to study. haha. den we went to suntec after sch to watch WHITE CHICKS. so damn funnie. kip laughin. lol. definately worth it. den went to eat pastamania at funan den went home.. haha. haf fun not, deariez? lol.
den went home alreadie.. came out at 8pm.. went serangoon mrt to meet marcus.. den in da train to meet mervin and zhiwei. den zhiwei bluffed us all. he demanded to play pool so i juz slacked dere for 1 hour watchin him showin off his skills -_-". den after that went Cineleisure to buy tickets to watch Wimbleton. since still got an hour more, went to BK as dey wanted to eat. den i lost my ezlink card + $10 + my new ezlink card holder which i bought with deariez. wahliew so depressing u noe. but yah. not rwellie lah. haha. juz make new one anywae. so yeah. watched Wimbleton and it wasnt all tt great. but it was still watch-able. den after da show went to coffee club den zhiwei had dis double shot expresso which was served in a so-darn-small mug. which is so darn small and cost $3.50 excluding service charge. so after tt walked ard aimlessly my feet wuz killing me. wanted to stay out if dad didnt call, but he did. so went home after that. ran to da gate coz i was scared as everyone in da whole neighbour hood was sleepin ( it was alreadie 3am wat ) den when i came into da room dad nagged at me fer awhile but yeah. went to bathe and everything and woke up at 4pm todae.
im non-existent again.

2004-10-13T08:36:00.000+08:00

Feeling like the worst human being on earth. my exams are failing, im like gonna retain, things are going so wrong, i feel that ive been tricked.. feeling left out, stranded. feelin out of place. im like drowning in all dis misery yet no one is dere for me. Worst of all, i feel like a fool. reallie. i cant believe i actuallie expressed em all out to u. i feel so dumb. argh. to think i got tricked by u. i cant believe u're sucha person. Dis sucks big time. My life is surrounded by PEOPLE hu dun even noe i EXIST. thanks man.

She is such a HYPOCRITE. i almost fell for her nice sweet and warm conversations. I was such a fool. im glad ive got nothin to do with such people. I feel so refreshed and free from all dis nonsense anymore. Its like. i dunnoe wat to sae abt her. she is the nuttiest bitch ive ever seen. for all the things she has done. the nice things made me feel like she was my best fren. the worst things MAKES me feel so stupid. C`mon. everybody does lil naughty lil bitchy stuffs once in a while. wat for get so paranoid? Yah. to think i trusted u. to think i regarded u as my best pal. to think i shared ur agony and shared ur pain. Wat do i get in return? One chunk of misunderstandings which made me feel lyk ive been stabbed in the heart. OMIGAWD. dis sucks reallie. wat for act some girl when actuallie ur true feelings are expressed behind me. THANK GOD i haf nuthin to do with u RIGHT NOW. u're such a big big hypocrite, and a big big loser.

Nobody cares. I feel so xtra. Get me outta here.

Listening to : One way.
Mood: I feel stupid.

2004-10-11T17:45:00.000+08:00

im gonna start this by saying..
CRISTIANO RONALDO ROCKS. he's all over my calculator and my table and my exam papers n he's all over my head. haha.

im feeling reallie bored right now. still hafta study for Fnn paper. oso. feeling kinda depressed. in a way. i received a letter juz now n it got me tearing up again. dun noe wat the sgts want from me again. i hate to keep everything inside but dere's juz no one dere fer me to share it to. its alwaes lyk.. when im willing to share. the person doesnt even care. but when i dun wanna share to that person, that person will juz kip askin lyk nobody's business. i kinda feel that in people's eyes, im non-exsistent. not important at all. i alwaes feel alone and lost n da people around me are decreasing rapidly. i dun wanna feel so out of place, i dun wanna feel so left out. but its kinda inappropriate fer me to juz sae that. its very hard to express all dis in words to someone, letting someone noe how u reallie feel inside. dis feeling sooo isnt nice.
i dun wanna be stuck here in dis state of solitude. i wanna do wat i wanna do, instead of worrying all day abt the future, which i noe how its gonna turn out alreadie. Ive tried to console myself.. do lotsa stuffs.. juz to get myself off all dis situations. but it aint helping.
juz dun get it.
why am i so invisible?

2004-10-11T09:54:00.000+08:00

INTRODUCING.. THE GUY OF MY DREAMS. OMG OMG OMG.

CRISTIANO RONALDO.
IM GONNA WATCH ALL HIS MATCHES N UNDERSTAND DA DAMN GAME.. BCOZ OF HIM. OMG. HE ROCKS MY SOCKS.
IM SOOOOOOOO IN LLLLOOOOVVVEEEEE WITH HIM.
christiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldochristiano ronaldo
I think im going crazie.

2004-10-09T13:28:00.000+08:00

juz saw Sg idol's result show juz now. david yeo wuz out. kinda disappointing and sad to see him leave. he looks damn sad also.. but christopher and david shudnt be the last 2 peeps.. Jerry Ong shud be out.. he isnt good. he cant sing. i mean its suppose to be a talent show not some "ask-my-church-frens-n-watever-frens-to-vote-for-me-as-much-as-possible" show. He is 28. he's not suppose to be in dis competition. he isnt cut out for it. juz wan him to leave. cannot stand his singing. ahh. ONLY SINGING.
yah and i changed mah blogskin. has somethin to do with ashlee simpson's song-autobiography.

dunnoe y sometimes everybody seems to be running awae from me. i juz feel everyone hates me.

2004-10-08T21:39:00.000+08:00

hrmm. accounts2 and chinese2 today. ahhh. dun wish to brood any further coz i aint sure i can pass. but i do noe how to do. so i hope hope hope i pass.
ahh. i overslept coz i forgot to put alarm clock n i put someone on aeroplane. den i sae sorrie with some explanations den the person dunwan to reply....
yah. its friday and im so glad coz i dun haf to wake up earlie in the morning. gonna catch up on loads of sleep before i start studying again. papers left : chem, phy, fnn, math2.
wish me luck people.
watched sg idol ytd n daphne rocked the whole performance.. its about time! she's lorraine's ex-sch mate's elder sis. Sg is so damn small. my fren is ur fren's fren n ur fren is my fren's fren n my fren is ur fren n ur fren is my fren. ahh. and dun bother reading wat i juz said coz it didnt make any sense.
Weird Thing.
Dere's dis guy. er some ex yuying. den he kinda msged me in frenster and said hi n stuffs. so i replied n i asked back.. "how are u these days. " and he replied with " hw's sch. " err? uhhuh. nvm. den i was lyk " sch's fine. " den he went lyk "ok...bb..." ER? i was like. puzzled. but i recovered from it fast and i came blogging. haha.
ahh. i hate accepting unknown pple from frenster. uh. to be more specific. i hate to accept AHBENGS from my frenster. yah. so i cancelled them awae. big deal. dunnoe y im bloggin abt it anywae. i guess im juz bored.
Dearest lorraine deariex : PLS RELACZ dun so fierce. haha.

listening to : mcFly- Unsaid things. ( lurve dis trackk. )

2004-10-08T07:26:00.000+08:00

maths paper one killed me. accounts paper one wuz ticum-ed. yah. and life has been so super eccentric lately i wonder if im dreaming. *bite me*
tmr's chinese2 and accounts2. wish me luck. but.. its not rwellie necessary thou. i noe im gonna flunk. unless i study real hard. which i cant get myself to. and dis is bad. real bad.
mervin's weird lately..

here's something.
dere's dis guy i noe hu is in my sch. n he is dis huge big flirt n a horny arse. he goes around playing with girls and he only wants the girl for his usual "making out sessions " and its disgusting coz all the girls are not pretty as his first priority is big busts so he can "perform his sacred ritual" on her. *im tryin not to sound crude so forgif me* wats more. his charm-girl tactics suck big time. its only fer xiaomeimeis. he is inconsiderate and he tells girls he love them but in fact he doesnt even care if they are living or not. he juz wans to "make out". he doesnt mean it when he says "love" and all his current girlfrens are naive fools. He may not look like one but deep down he rwellie is. he acts cute half the time. worse, he is a serious playboy. dun be fooled when he saes he love u.
To all the girls in YUYING SECONDARY. pls beware of HIM.... *his name shall not be disclosed here as he is only a MINOR. below 16*

2004-10-06T06:34:00.000+08:00

things haf been so weird. it almost seems too impossible to be true.
Tomorrow ish da eng paper 2 n s.s. i can almost feel the intense pressure which IM NOT GONNA HAF. i cant seem to pressurize myself to actuallie sit down and study. it feels exactly lyk exams are over and feelin so slack all over.
i hope i dun haf to go fer swp.. da other gals haf alreadie started theirs n im still laggin behind. so i pray with all my HEART tt i dun haf to go. i'll be super elated i'll kiss God. ( that is if i can see him) ....
Im depressed lah. im a sick child. shower me with love and care. Thx.
yeah watever.
dunnoe wat im talkin alreadie.
ciaos.
listening to : alicia keys - a woman's worth
mood : flu-ey

2004-10-04T08:12:00.000+08:00

i friggin' sickayee. woke up feelin lyk da worseeee human being on earth baby. i wish dere's somebody to love me! but da person i wan is nvr gonna be mine. haha. arghx. mom said i hafta go tuition coz english exam comin so muz mug coz my paper 1 is a goner. i even discussed it with my tutor she said i wuz not cut out fer dat topic. argh regret. but she saes its okae cuz i rwellie hafta buck up in mah paper 2. derefore, when i reached mah tutor's place i wuz feelin like hell. my whole body felt SO DAMN HOT and i felt so dizzy. yet i had to do mah work.. so i studied very little dis morn.
after tuition mah parents brought mi to da doc ( i requested. ) at serangoon. i wuz da last patient n i saw kok meng in da clinic with his momaye. wat a coincidence. den doctor whoever prescribed mie some medication. after takin it im feelin better. he gave me a one-day MC for tomorrow n tmr im gonna start INTENSIVE memorizing of da notes.. as if i had a choice baby. one thing weird. tricia came n tell me dey wanna be frenx again.. im thinkin its kinda weird coz.. it sounds lyk a joke? dey arent so forgiving are they?
oh never mind.
errr. yah.
i love MCFLY and Ashlee Simpson. omigawd.

listenin to: McFly- Hypnotised.
mood: sick honey.

2004-10-02T06:18:00.000+08:00

im gonna fail my paper ones. ENGLISH. outta point. VERY out of point. feel so sad. sigh. i dun wanna be cryin lyk last yr when i knew i failed my english. i was like counting on mah english coz my other subjects are like cannot-make-it. hai. den chinese. needless to sae. i misinterpreted the question again. wat u wan me to do? my chinese aint gd i cant read the words. i need an english-chinese dictionary but i dun haf one. dis is so sucky. i hate dis feeling. i was feeling very very very very very very very sad during the 15 min break but after sch i juz.. didnt wanna care much abt it.. furthermore. i was quite elated due to some personal reasons.. wat can i do. im flunking my PAPER ONES. im a pathetic failure. dis sucks big time. ARGH.
i saw lester at kovan's bus stop. hahaha. knew him since i was primary one. now a shuai ge. hahaha.
I FEEL SO ARGH. FAIL PAPER ONE. FAIL ORAL. FAIL EVERYTHING. i might retain? *cross fingers* if i retain i'll transfer out man. haha.

listening to : dashboard confessionals - as lovers go ( ron fair remix )
mood: i dun wanna fail paper one.. :(

2004-10-01T13:28:00.000+08:00

okay people. i screwed up chinese oral todae. the whole sec3s except da NT class had oral in the hall. so yah. guess wat? i got MDM LAU. i saw her face i began laughin. so damn cute and round. so every line i read. i juz laugh. i think da teacher got pissed or somethin. coz i kept luffin. i dunnoe why her face wuz juz so farnie. i tried not to look but my mind kept flashin her face. ahhhh. so embarassing. i screwed up the passage coz i kept luffin. NOT SERIOUS AT ALL. someone please teach me how to be stress please. i reallie wan to but i dunnoe how. den for the current affairs watever newspaper qn, i used so much english i think i failed. plus the conversation one.. no nid to sae. i kept " then. Hor. ya la. yeah. oh. maybe. beside " and watever prepositions u can find. aiya. die alreadie. i think she was kinda pissed with me for luffin durin da passage reading. and i didnt noe how to read half of the words dere. wth. nvm. so in the end i told her in chinese " sorrie i laugh i was kinda nervous so when im nervous i laugh. " den she started laughing.... right. -_-". enlighten me people.
had fnn practical part b which i realized.. pls use self raising flour to bake muffins! dun use plain flour. it will turn out nice looking but doesnt haf da muffin taste i dunnoe why. so dun ask me la. im dumb at dis kinda stuffs. and so i got a prank call todae which i couldnt care less. yah.
and i lied to mrs kok todae. man i feel bad. sob sob. haha. but ya. its over baby.
tmr first paper. screams.
i love my dearies loads.

2004-09-29T07:29:00.000+08:00

i cant describe todae.
it seems lyk the happiest dae in this week.
it also seems lyk the saddest dae in this whole week.
it feels lyk the guiltest dae of the week.
but also the carefree-est day of the week.
it feels lyk da most hardworkin dae of the week.
but the laziest day of the week.

everythin juz seems to coincide nicely.
im thankful for wat i haf.
altho da past may be bac tah haunt mie.
but i believe im tt easy to topple off.
so wat if everybody noes each other ?
jealousy doesnt come into mah heart anymore.
how can i be when i haf dis marvellous good news.
but wait.
its suppose to be a sad cum happie day.
so wat am i now?
happie or sad?
damn it im contradicting myself.

okae. actuallie i dun think u guyz will be able to digest all da shytt ive typed abv but yah. it doesnt matter. here are some pictures~

meeta metametamemta~ =X taken after poa classes at night at BK. we were makin a fooooolllie outta ourselves tt night at BK.

as usual, the semi-awake narcissistic me lookin like RETARD. so dun blame me.